OK, I admit to curmudgeonliness. But where did chain stores get the mammoth balls to start asking us to make donations to THEIR favorite charities while captive in the check-out lines? I couldn’t effing believe the Staples clerk ringing up my purchase and then politely inquiring if I was a decent Christian or a heartless prick. Well, she didn’t exactly put it that way, but by refusing to donate my change to the allegedly worthy cause she was forced to promote, those were pretty much the implied categories.
Dear Staples: If you want to support a nonprofit entity, GIVE THEM YOUR OWN GODDAM MOTHERFUCKING MONEY! There, I said it.
Now that was unruly, I apologize. But what stirs me to these intemperate rages is the sense that there is no escape anywhere from corporate programming, starting with the faux ‘Welcome to Best Buy’ (where you’d best buy something, deadbeat) right through to the ‘Enjoy your day’ b.s. from the merchandise clerk after you’ve selected the product you’re forced to take since her employers have driven away all the competition. It’s all so revoltingly cock-cheerful and false. You know the company has mercilessly drilled the minimum-wage staff on exactly what words to use and what posture to adopt to get the money out of your pocket and into theirs. And to make you aware that the store’s eyes are always on you, too.
Commerce is such an important part of our existence that reducing it to rote repetitions of a few standard interactions undermines quality of life in a significant way. You don’t have to be nostalgic for the 12-hour day to miss the time when retail jobs retained a certain gruff dignity because employees were allowed to be spontaneous and human. Now your typical Wal-Mart ‘associate’ has to know exactly when to smile, how to curtsy and what jokes are to be made and by whom. No doubt it makes sense that this regimentation should occur in an economy where most everyday goods are made by communist slaves.
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HA! Amen. A nearby supermarket has been doing this for ages and it drives me crazy. They've learned that easier than being a good corporate citizen is presenting the image of a good corporate citizen. It isn't the money so much as the fact that every transaction includes a reference to charity.
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