Twilight Highlights

Olmert: He [Bush] was taken off the podium and brought to a side room. I spoke with him; I told him: You can’t vote for this proposal.

He said: Listen, I don’t know, I didn’t see, don’t know what it says.

I told him: I know, and you can’t vote for it!

He then instructed the secretary of state, and she did not vote for it. It was a proposal she had put together, one she formulated, one she organized, one she maneuvered.

It left her rather embarrassed, abstaining in the vote on a proposal she herself had put together.
—from a report by Shmu'el Tal, Voice of Israel Network B, quoted in Informed Comment

THE CHAIRMAN (Senator Kerry): The Senate Committee on Foreign Relations will come to order.

We are here today to consider the nomination as Secretary of State of the Honorable Ehud Olmert, currently Prime Minister of Israel.

Mr. Olmert’s qualifications for this post are well-known. He has had a crucial role in the formulation of U.S. foreign affairs since his accession to the office of Acting Prime Minister in 2006 and previously advised American policymakers on current affairs as mayor of Jerusalem.

His most recent role on the world stage was an eleventh-hour intervention at the United Nations Security Council last week where he successfully torpedoed a dangerous worldwide consensus on restoring peace to the Gaza Strip.

Mr Olmert achieved this extraordinary triumph by his timely consultation with the President of the United States, who was then able to contact Secretary Rice and narrowly avoid U.S. support for the erroneously-authored Rice resolution.

Mr. Olmert, you may proceed with your prepared remarks.

MR OLMERT: Thank you, Chairman Kerry. [Aside to aides: Who bought this guy’s suit?] [laughter]

Thank you for the opportunity to address this committee. As you know, I have been nominated to assume full responsibility for U.S. foreign policy as Secretary of State. Some people suggested I should hold out for National Security Advisor—just a joke! [laughter]

Mr. Chairman, thank you for your kind remarks on my qualifications. [cellphone rings] Just one moment, please, Senator. Hello? Yes, I’m in the hearing now, tell the generals to wait an hour. I won’t be held up long with this.

Pardon me for that interruption, Senators—I’ve still got a country to govern and a war to prosecute, THE war, I might add, against our terrorist enemies.

Now, as for directing U.S. foreign policy, I think you will find that our goals are fully in accordance with those laid down by many U.S. presidents and consistently overwhelming votes of the Congress, such as the 390-5 declaration of support just this week for our defensive action against Gaza terrorists. Despite some differences of nuance and emphasis, I believe we can count on a smooth transition from the indirect management of U.S. foreign policy by my country in the recent past to a more ‘hands-on’ approach in the future.

MR VITTER: Let me interrupt you there, Mr Prime Minister. I just want to say that given that you are against terrorists and we are against terrorists, that I think it is just spectacular to have you take over this position after a lot of paling-around with people who funded other people who probably committed terrorist acts in Lebanon and Sudan and Africa. And by the way, you should come down to New Orleans some time, we’ve got some cathouses down there that’ll rock your Middle Eastern world.

MR OLMERT: Thank you for that kind invitation, Senator Vitter.

MRS CLINTON: What the f*** is going on here, may I ask?

MR KERRY: The junior senator from New York is recognized for one minute.

MRS CLINTON: Forget that one minute nonsense, Buster. I’m sitting down right here at the witness table to deliver my opening remarks.

MR OLMERT: [aside to aides] Where’s this one been? She didn’t hear how I bounced Condi Rice out of the UN all the way back to Ferragamo’s? [into microphone] Mr Chairman, these violent, terrorist-encouraging tactics are out of place in this hearing. And P.S., I’m not budging from this chair. [aside] Bitch.

MR KERRY: I’m sure we can work out a compromise satisfactory to all parties on the question of who will be the Secretary of State.

MR LUGAR: It might be time for a two-secretary solution.

MR OLMERT: We are obviously willing to cede territory on that score in return for a peaceful resolution of this conflict. [laughter]

MR KERRY: Mr. Prime Minister, can you assure this committee that Long Island businessmen carrying suitcases of cash to you will not exert undue influence your decisions as a cabinet officer?

MR OLMERT: What businessman? What suitcases? A man can’t make a living for his family all of a sudden? Define ‘undue’! Of course, I agree to ‘no undue influence’, gladly. We can tease out the details in 2014. [sustained laughter, applause]

[MRS CLINTON raps on witness table with three-ring binder.]

MRS CLINTON: Mr Chairman, I move to suspend this proceeding immediately as my voting delegates from Florida were not seated among the audience.

MR KERRY: Order, order! The committee will come to order. In fact, let’s order out—all this diplomacy is making me peckish. Can I get a Ruben?